Tuesday, September 23, 2008

And That Happened

Phillies 6, Braves 2: I think the Braves owe the Phillies some collective form of life debt. It's as if there's a spiritual connection between these two teams, with the bonds consisting of grateful servitude flowing north from Atlanta to Philadelphia. When facing the Mets, the Braves become fearsome warriors. When facing the Phillies, their submission knows no bounds. Basically, I think the Braves are Wookiees. There. I said it.

Reds 7, Marlins 5
: Jerry Hairston Jr. goes 3-5 with a double and 2 RBI. Unfortunately the pregame picketing, the fierce anti-Hairston editorials, and the incessant booing for each of his at bats really soured the experience for him, just as it has for all of the monsters named in the Mitchell Report.

Royals 6, Tigers 2: There's not much left to root for this season, but one of the things I am rooting for is for Kansas City to pass Detroit in the standings. They're only a game behind now.

Rays 4, Orioles 2: According to the game story, "the victory left the Rays (93-62) one win shy of tying the 1991 Atlanta Braves for most victories by a team that had the worst record in the majors one year earlier." Yeah, but the 1990 Braves had one fewer win than the 2007 Rays, so let's make them win two more before making a big deal about it, OK? I gotta hold on to something here.

Indians 4, Red Sox 3: The Yankees stay mathematically alive for one more night. I wish they'd hurry up and put a bullet in those guys. I have a corpse picture I've been waiting to use for the occasion.

Cubs 9, Mets 5: A grand slam for Jason Marquis is but the latest addition to the Mets' annual nightmare reel. At this point, I'm inclined to simply give the NL Wild Card to the Twins, because neither New York nor Milwaukee seem to want it all that much.

A's 4, Rangers 3: Ziegler blows the save, but the Athletics hold on to win it in the 11th. They've won a lot lately, actually. Remember those late season surges that A's had in 2001 and 2002? Well, this one is just like those except it has lasted only about ten games and it's not going to end up helping them in the standings in any relevant way. But hey, wins.

Diamondbacks 4, Cardinals 2: Brandon Webb wins his 22nd game. I suppose that means that Bochy will start Tim Lincecum four or five more times between now and Sunday. I mean, what else do the Giants have to play for?

Angels 2, Mariners 1: Here's what we're going to do: I'll take the morning shifts, and a couple of you guys volunteer for afternoons and evenings. We'll brew up some coffee, and make sure there's always a TV or a radio on so that he doesn't feel so isolated. We also have to make sure that there are always lots of pictures of his family around, and that we keep the conversation light. No, it's not a guarantee, but that's what the web sites say we need to do in order to keep Zumsteg from killing himself, so we have to try.

10 comments:

Chipmaker said...

"Wookiee" has two e's.

I don't know why I know this, or for how long I've known this.

Craig Calcaterra said...

Chip -- I don't care how or why you know that, but it makes me happy that someone does.

Nick said...

Thanks for rooting for the Royals. That makes the 12 fans left very happy. And who knew that Chewbacca was a lefty?

Anonymous said...

APBA Guy-

Wow, I thought things were bad over at A's Drumbeat, but USS Mariner needs to be watched carefully. That's some serious depression, and the only cure is...more cowbell?

Seriously, the A's and the Mariners are not going to be good for a while. The A's system is better than the Mariners, but when you look at the Angels you think they'll win the division 3 out of the next 4 years because of their pitching. Texas' offense looks incredible, and with Hamilton better conditioned for a full season (this is his first year playing regularly over the complete schedule) and a full year of Davis and Teagarden, they will be around .500 with just a little improvement in pitching. It might be a very long wait for the Mariners.

Chadillac said...

Everything was going great in the Tatooine League until Bill Veeck used an Ewok as a pinch hitter.

Daniel said...

Did he fly all the way in from Kashyyyk for that appearance?

(Yes, I know that the wookiees' home planet has three y's. You have a unique readership here, Craig.)

Daniel said...

APBA Guy - But Texas's pitching is apocalyptically bad. They do have Feliz coming up through the system, but all of the rest of their pitchers are either going to get worse (Padilla, Millwood) or show no evidence that they were ever good in the first place (everyone else).

Scott said...

Let the Wookiees win.

Anonymous said...

APBA Guy-

Daniel, you make an excellent point about Texas pitching, and perhaps the sight of the beloved Ron Washington in the Ranger's dugout has me hallucinating in a positive way and ignoring their history of trading away the very good, young pitchers they need.

Still, an argument could be made that despite the horror-show pitching in Texas, they may still be better on the whole, as a team, than the A's and Mariners for the next couple of years.

wickethewok said...

@Scott - Very well played!