Friday, September 12, 2008

It Happens Every Year, But . . .

. . . I still don't find it all that clever:

Practical jokes meant a lack of practical travel wear for Toronto Blue Jays rookies as they made their way to Boston on Thursday night. In a time-honoured tradition of baseball hazing, Blue Jays veterans had special outfits ready in the locker’s of their first-year teammates following the 6-4 win over the Chicago White Sox . . .

. . . Scott Richmond of North Vancouver, B.C. pulled on a loud flower print shirt and skirt ensemble to hoots and hollers from the clubhouse. Travis Snider had a “Dorothy” costume from The Wizard of Oz waiting for him at his locker after his eighth-inning double sparked the six-run rally that led to Toronto’s 11th win in 12 games. Clown-fearing Jesse Carlson had a Bozo get up, complete with oversize red shoes that would have fit the size 18 feet of his locker neighbour and fellow rookie
David Purcey. Purcey’s locker contained a schoolgirl uniform with a brown pleated skirt for the rookie left-hander to wear.
Look, if you're going to put your rookies through hell, you should at least try to be creative about it. Rookies have been forced to go in drag for years. It's been done to death. Let's try something new, shall we?

I'm a much bigger fan of practical jokey things as opposed to mere hazing. Things like the "Son, you've been traded to the Nippon Ham Fighters" bit. Or how about getting a beat writer involved and have him ask him how he feels about erroneous taunts from player X on team Y, hoping against hope that he spouts off?

Assuming you'd want to, how would you taunt a rookie?

9 comments:

Amos said...

The cruelest - and least funny - would be the old trick about being demoted or cut. Not very funny, I guess.

I think the hazing should happen at random times early in the season or when the guy has been around for a few days.

I'd do something like tell the guy to show for mandatory batting practice at a local park at 7 a.m. and game uniforms are required. Or maybe tell him you have to wear your uniform on the flight because there's no time to shower and change after the game.

Eh, these ideas aren't very funny, are they? Maybe I just don't have a good sense of humor.

Alex said...

Maybe you've seen this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCpyLCqrnOU. It's only the end of the video, but you get the idea: Eddie Perez thinks he's showing off his hotel for some TV show, then Huddy jumps out of the closet. Hudson gets a high five because, even though the punch line wasn't that great, it seems like it took a lot of effort. I also like that he's trying to start the trend of hazing veterans in addition to rookies.

Ken Dynamo said...

I am a big proponent of hazing, and not just for pro ball teams, i think pretty much any organization on earth could be enhanced by quality hazing.

that said, my favorite technique is called the tumbler. it involves taking the hazee, tying him up real tight to a chair, and then throwing him down a flight of stairs.

BB said...

Um how about the part that David Purcey wears size 18 shoes?

mooseinohio said...

Sometimes the best practical joke is the one that never happens as the person is constantly suspecting it but nothing every happens. M*A*S*H demostrated this well with a competition between Hawkeye and BJ on who cold play the best practical joke and Hawkeye gets completely paranoid while nothing truly happens and his antics to avoid notheing provide all the humor necessary.

Along that line - the art of subtle humor, the use of the slow burn and what folks referred to as high brow humor are dying out and personally I think it is sad thing. Don't get me wrong I love slap stick humor as well but I miss sitcoms such as Frazier that required some thought to appreciate, the wit of Northern Exposure and the levels of humor used, and the musings of Steven Wright.

tHeMARksMiTh said...

It involves the rookie dropping the soap in the shower ...

Not really, that's actually a bit over the line. Anyway, my favorite is when the rookie hits his first home run and no one moves to congratulate him. His expression is priceless as the unfathomable joy meets total apathy. Again, this isn't very clever or original, but it's funny.

oasiserfede said...

The Derek Bell-truck-give-away....that was damn funny!

drpaisley said...

Tell him, on-camera, that his mother was Morganna and his father was the Phillie Phanatic. Then throw a cow at him with a trebuchet.

Michael M said...

I'm with Paisley on this one.