Brewers 11, Rockies 1: According to the game story, Corey Hart won the All-Star Game vote-off or whatever the hell it is, and was told of this by Yost "as he walked into the Miller Park interview room with his two young children . . . A couple minutes into his news conference, about a dozen of his teammates rushed into the room and sprayed Hart and his children with beer, loudly cheering the news." The parents out there may consider that to be simply awful, but the good people of Wisconsin have been baptizing babies in the stuff for hundreds of years.
Mets 7, Giants 3: Fernando Tatis (3-4, 2B, HR, 4 RBI) continues to be the straw that stirs the drink for the Mets. He's kind of a bendy straw, maybe with one of those little scoopers on the end of it like you get in a Slurpee, but the important thing is that there is a drink involved, and he is definitely stirring it. Well, maybe he's not really stirring it. Maybe he's just moving up in down through the cup lid making that funny noise that kinda sounds like old school scratching. In McDonald's cups anyway. I don't think that happens with Wendy's cups. Sometimes they don't even give you a lid at Wendy's. Cheap bastards.
Pirates 4, Yankees 2: From Hell's heart I stab at thee! The AL clobbers the NL in interleague play this year, but the NL draws last blood.
Reds 12, Cubs 7: Take seven taters, 2 leeks, 2 carrots, a celery stalk, bullion, parsley, water, salt, and butter, and place in a four quart slow cooker on low for seven or eight hours. Stir in evaporated milk and chives, adding salt and pepper to taste. Et voila!
Blue Jays 6, Orioles 5: All-Star George Sherrill blows the save and loses the game in the ninth. Sucks for him, but if it weren't for the dumb every-team-needs-an-All-Star rule, I wouldn't have even had a comment for this came.
Indians 13, Rays 2: Just when the Rays had begun to build a lead, they drop four in a row. Casey Blake (2-5, 3 RBI) is starting audition season off nicely.
A's 3, Mariners 2: Nothin' I hate worse than to see the hard work of a knuckleballer go to waste. R.A. Dickey shuts the A's out through seven, only to watch Brandon Morrow blow it in the ninth and his team go on to lose it in 11. Dickey was in a jam in the early going, but he got out of it. What happened, R.A.? "The bullpen mound is in the opposite direction of the game mound and that makes a big difference for a knuckleballer. It took me an inning to get used to it." Makes perfect sense, but it's one of those things you'd never think about unless you threw a knuckleball.
Twins 7, Tigers 6: The bullpen bails Kevin Slowey out after a slowey start, and Justin Morneau's 5-5 day powers the Twins back from a four-run deficit.
Phillies 4, Cardinals 1: Ryan Howard is hotter than whoopee in woolens of late: .353 (18-for-51) with eight homers and 18 RBI over the course of his current 13-game hitting streak.
Royals 4, White Sox 1: If Kansas City could throw Greinke, Mahay, and Soria out there every game they'd be in business.
Diamondbacks 7, Nationals 5: Danny Haren gets jobbed out of a win after pitching eight strong innings, but the Dbacks rally in extras. Actually the game didn't truly get started until extra innings, when eight of the game's twelve runs were scored.
Marlins 5, Dodgers 4: Hanley Ramirez is a decent ballplayer (5-6, game winning home run in the 11th). The fact that he only had one RBI was a function of his punchless teammates.
Angels 11, Rangers 10: Lots and lots of crooked numbers. The Rangers were down 10-4, but came back to tie it up and send it to extras. K-Rod pitches for the second night. This time he doesn't blow the save, but it ain't all cream cheese either, as he walked a guy and committed a throwing error. He has 36 saves now. If you're keeping track of such things, you should know that that would have constituted the single-season record until 1972.