. . .you're so desperate to find something to write about that you do a Google News search for "baseball," and half of the results are about people assaulting or killing other people with baseball bats.
Stupid Super Bowl.
While I'm thinking about it, though, I'm trying to figure out the baseball analog of Eli Manning winning the Super Bowl MVP. It's certainly more improbable than Aaron Boone: playoff hero, but nothing as crazy as Ozzie Canseco hitting in 57 straight games. I'll chew on it a while.