You know, since Congress is so interested in baseball these days, they should do us all a service and mandate warning labels for any story published this time of year in which an oft-injured vet speaks of being in the best shape of his life. Something like this should do the trick:
Warning: the following article is the product of a writer desperate for a story encountering a player desperate for a comeback. The publishers of this newspaper in no way warrant the veracity of the claims set forth herein because they have no way to confirm them given the absence of any real baseball games being played. Further, given the fear that their clubhouse credentials will be revoked for depicting negative information regarding the potentially valuable trade chit described herein, the writer would be unwilling to present such negative information even if it did exist. All descriptions and accounts of a players' health should be viewed with supreme skepticism unless and and until the trading deadline has passed, free agent season approaches, and the team regains an interest in depicting its players as unhealthy.
(links via BTF)