Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Give 'Em The High Hard One!

If this doesn't scare you off of filing that defamation suit, Joe Celebrity, nothin' will:

He told little white lies ... and he took little blue pills.

Roger Clemens, whose claims he never took steroids are under federal investigation,
has apparently discovered the benefits of another performance-enhancing drug sweeping the sports world - Viagra.

Clemens stashed the clearly marked, diamond-shaped pills in a GNC vitamin bottle in his locker at Yankee Stadium, according to a source familiar with the clubhouse, perhaps keeping the drug undercover to avoid the inevitable wisecracks about all the girlfriends he needed to please.

Clemens wasn't alone. The pitcher, who is believed to have scored the drug from a teammate, joined the burgeoning number of athletes who have turned Vitamin V and its over-the-counter substitutes into one of the hottest drugs in locker rooms.
In addition to its intended uses, it's apparently used as an athletic endurance enhancer of some kind. Personally, I couldn't imagine using it like that. Good lookin' women often get good seats near the field. The camera is on the pitcher all game. You think walking up to the chalk board in junior high was embarrassing? How about on the mound in Yankee Stadium?

Is this newsworthy? Eh, if I'm the editor I don't know that I run it. But let us at least recall that this story doesn't exist if Clemens doesn't file that lawsuit.


mahnu.uterna said...

I love the companion images on this blog...always good for a chuckle. Thanks!

Craig Calcaterra said...

Thanks, mahnu. That one is actually of me, taken at the White Sands Missle Range museum five years ago. It's my go-to pic for whenever I need a phallic symbol.

themarksmith said...

well, they have cups on, so i doubt you could see the "rocket". I think it would work.

Jason said...

With one of the side effects being "seeing blue," did Roger always think he was playing the 1985 Royals (on the road)?