Friday, April 18, 2008

Great Moments in Español

Papelbon picks a great role model:
Jonathan Papelbon is the bizarro Chad Johnson. Johnson, who wears number 85 for the Cincinnati Bengals, calls himself “Ocho Cinco.” Papelbon, who wears number 58 for the Red Sox, had “Cinco Ocho,” written on the red socks that he wears during games.
I excused Johnson for mangling Spanish over the whole Ocho Cinco thing because he's a dumbass and probably doesn't know any better. Papelbon, however -- well, wait, if the stories I hear are true he's no mental giant himself. Hmmm.

Look, at the very least, Papelbon has Spanish speaking teammates, right? Would it kill him to write cincuenta y ocho?

11 comments:

Kevin said...

Schilling said it best when he stated that Papelbon was no "charter member of Mensa or anything."

The boy does make me laugh though.

Anonymous said...

Personally, I find humor in the ignorance of Papelbon. Plus, you think Pap's latino teammates want to even bother educating this guy? No need to eff up the man's head with knowledge.

Mike said...

Please understand that I'm not defending Johnson or Papelbon. The inaccuracy of their Spanish translation skills bothers me more than it should. However, athletes (and by that I mean my high school coaches) do often refer to double digit numbers by their single digit components. It's quite likely that before Johnson decided to spice things up with some Latin flavor, his coaches and teammates called him Eight Five.

dubbschism said...

i just want to mention that as a baseball player myself, it's commonplace to call out a teammate's number by it's constituent digits. in fact, i hear something like "two nine" for 29 WAY more often than i hear "twenty-nine." it's sorta kinda part of the chatter culture, if there is such a thing. and in both Johnson's and Papelbon's defense, their "translations" sound much cooler than what you're proposing.

although WHY they've decided to go by spanish number monikers is beyond me.

dubbschism said...

i see mike beat me to the punch. whoops.

Craig Calcaterra said...

Mike and Dubb: I'll buy that explanation.

Kevin and anon: I totally agree. Paps makes me laugh. There's something very refreshing and enjoyable about a ballplayer who just goes out and plays and doesn't seem to worry too much about other stuff. I'd take a dozen Papelbons before I'd take one Mike Marshall.

Anonymous said...

So I guess the question for Shyster becomes, would you take a dozen Papelbons over one Brian Bannister?

Craig Calcaterra said...

Depends. For baseball? Absolutely. In fact, I'd take one Papelbon for a dozen Bannisters (I think he's going to come back to earth soon).

For a road trip companion or a dinner party guest? Well . . .

Anonymous said...

Well said, Craig.

I figure after about 15 minutes with Pap, I'd struggle to create conversation..., "So, Pap, what do you think about the current geopolitical crises in the Middle East? How about the precipitous decline of blacks in MLB? Ever read Richard Laptchick?"

Anonymous said...

Well said, Craig.

I figure after about 15 minutes with Pap, I'd struggle to create conversation..., "So, Pap, what do you think about the current geopolitical crises in the Middle East? How about the precipitous decline of blacks in MLB? Ever read Richard Laptchick?"

Voros McCracken said...

Actually hanging out with Papelbon would be easy and quite amusing. Of course the headlines the next day would read "Red Sox Closer Sets Restaurant on Fire" but that's not your problem (okay, so the fire was a result of the $20 bet you made with him, but it's still not your fault).