And That Happened

Pirates 2, Diamondbacks 0: What with Joba's shoulder, do you think the Yankees are wishing they had Karstens? Certainly his near-perfect game cum shutout has to make the Pirates feel pretty good about that deal. Randy Johnson pitches well, but as so often happens with him, he takes the loss anyway. Speaking of Johnson, I learned something very disturbing last night. While watching one of my favorite shows -- Anthony Bourdain's "No Reservations" on the Travel Channel -- I learned that RJ co-owns a sports-themed restaurant in Phoenix with Alice Cooper called "Cooper'stown." The centerpiece of the menu: a two foot long hotdog called "The Big Unit." Let that one sink in for a moment, and then try to unimagine what you have imagined.

Blue Jays 5, A's 1: To call the A's lineup impotent would be an insult to the non-virile. For their part, the A's haven't been able to get it up for more than three runs in any of their nine straight losses. Perhaps a visit to Cooper'stown would inspire them?

Angels 9, Orioles 4: The win was nice, but you know Mike Scioscia went to bed angry. I mean, if Santana had somehow given up one more run in this one, K-Rod would have had another chance at a save, and Scioscia just can't stand to pass up those opportunities. "Maybe I should have had Arredondo walk the bases loaded in the ninth," mused Scioscia as late night turned to early morning. "It's in the rules. They'd have to give him a save in that situation."

Rays 10, Indians 7 : There's ugly, and then there's Indians' bullpen ugly. Ed Mujica and MasaKobayashi cough up six runs in the ninth inning to allow the Rays to claw back from a 7-4 deficit. A localized outbreak of antihustleitis had an impact on this game as well. B.J. Upton was benched because he didn't run out a grounder on Tuesday night, and Ryan Garko was yanked from the game after failing to leave the box on a slow roller down the line in the second. In response, Eric Wedge and Joe Maddon have each made waiver claims on Van McCoy and the Soul City Symphony.

Brewers 6, Reds 3: I was offered some nice tickets to this game but declined because I had things to do last night. It wasn't until I checked out the box score that I realized it was a day game. Man, I'm an idiot. That's OK though, because it doesn't look like it was that inspiring of a game. The not-so-usual suspects -- Rickie Weeks, Mike Cameron, and Jason Kendall -- knock in five of the Brewers' six runs, as they right the ship after getting all shovey on Monday. Of course this shouldn't be that surprising seeing how the Reds have a knack for curing the ills that ail their opponents.

Cubs 11, Astros 4: Mark DeRosa hits a grand slam and knocks in five and Jason Marquis pitches six acceptable innings to get the win. Meanwhile, Braves fans look on longingly, wishing those guys were still on their team.

Giants 3, Braves 2: Tim Lincecum did Tim Lincecum things (8 IP, 5 H, 2 ER, 8K), and the Braves did Braves things (retired on four pitches in the third inning), as they drop their 12th of 19 since the All-Star break.

Phillies 5, Marlins 0: Two and a half up on Florida, three on the Mets. Can Philly pull away from the pack?

Twins 7, Mariners 3: The loss was understandable. Without Jose Vidro around, there was simply no one to "move some runners and hit and run and that kind of stuff."

White Sox 5, Tigers 1: Jim Leyland, who is apparently afraid of his bullpen these days, kept Verlander out for 130 pitches. Didn't do him any good, though, as he left the game with the Tigers trailing and the bases loaded. The White Sox, who were 87% less insane with Guillen serving his suspension, remain a game ahead of Minnesota.

Padres 4, Mets 2: With Billy Wagner on the DL and everyone else kind of stinkin' right now, it's probably no surprise that the Mets' bullpen couldn't get Pedro off the hook when the game was tied in the seventh. At this rate we're going to see McDowell, Orosco, and the Earthly remains of Tug McGraw activated pretty soon.

Yankees 5, Rangers 3: Sidney Ponson: stopper. He had help, though. In the second inning, it looked like he was about to be lit up like a pinball machine when Abreu nailed David Murphy at the plate with Pudge blocking for the third out. Pudge and Murphy both went down and eventually out of the game. It would be a very bad thing for the Yankees if Rodriguez is really hurt. It would be a good thing for the New Molina World Order, however, and that's an operation I wholeheartedly support. Also: an early draft of the AP game story reads "Jason Giambi homered for the first time since shaving the most famous mustache in baseball . . ." I hope that is changed in later editions, because it is insulting to the scores of far superior mustaches that graced the upper lips of ballplayers in the 70s and 80s. Giambi's 'stache, while respectable, wouldn't have even qualified him to be Wade Boggs' mustache brush caddy back in the day.

Red Sox 8, Royals 2: Youkilis was hit in the wrist in the first inning and had to leave the game. I have no idea if the HBP was a case of Hochevar throwing at him on purpose, but if it was, don't you feel pretty demoralized if you're a Red Sox player and the guy who has to retaliate -- Wakefield -- can't break 70 on the radar gun? Seems unfair somehow.

Cardinals 9, Dodgers 6: Derek Lowe was shellacked for 13 hits and eight runs in just over three innings of work and Albert Pujols goes 4-4 with a double a homer, and four RBI. The Dodgers, by the way, have lost three of five and find themselves a half game worse off in the standings since Manny Ramirez joined the team. Ain't his fault, but that's what's happened.

Washington v. Colorado : From MetroDenver.org: "Metro Denver is situated on the high plains at the base of the Rocky Mountains. Moderate temperatures, low levels of humidity, and abundant sunshine provide an ideal climate for year-round activities. Metro Denver has 300 sunny days a year – more annual days of sunshine than either San Diego or Miami Beach." Unfortunately yesterday was not one of those days, and the Nats-Rockies game had to be postponed.