Cubs 7, Braves 2: The Braves are so bad that they have not only dashed their own playoff hopes, but they threw a serious kink into the Cubs' by breaking Alfonso Soriano's hand. I watched most of this game. Maybe I've lost it, but I thought Rick Sutcliffe was pretty damn sharp and incisive, and that's not something I've been able to say in the past. Sure, saying that Jeff Bennett sucks isn't exactly a stunning insight, but Sutcliffe effectively explained his lack of an out pitch and how his total lack of command his fastball caused everything else to go wrong for him. I, on the other hand, could do no more than yell, scream, and throw beer cans at my TV whenever he pitched.
UPDATE: I said I saw most of the game. I did not see this part, and if it happened the way Zumsteg described it, well, I take back the nice things I said about Sutcliffe.
Cardinals 10, Reds 0: Pujols? We don' need no stinkin' Pujols! If you're Johnny Cueto (5 IP, 5 H, 6 ER, 8 BB), April seems like a long, long time ago.
Rangers 11, Royals 5: Some teams lose a lot of games. The Kansas City Royals lose so many that they get bored with normal modes of losing and instead do things like give up ten runs in the game's last three innings. The ERAs of the pitchers Trey Hillman sent out after a very respectable Kyle Davies start: 18.00, 8.10, 4.45, 6.97. If you're Dayton Moore, don't you pretty much have to DFA at least two of those guys?
Red Sox 6, Orioles 3: Bartolo Colon is 4-1 with a 3.41 ERA. Like Kyle Lohse, he too was available for basically nothing well after spring training began.
Rockies 1, Giants 0: I'm too tired to look it up right now, but I'm guessing that you can count the number of 1-0 games in the history of Coors Field on one hand. I'm likewise guessing that you can count the number of games that remained 0-0 until two outs in the bottom of the ninth inning in Coors Field with both hands in your pockets and your fly open. Tough luck no decisions for both Lincecum (7 IP, 6 H, 0 ER, 9k) and for Jiminez (7 IP, 4 H, 0 ER).
Marlins 6, Phillies 2: Frustrating night for Cole Hamels. He goes 8, gives up 2 runs, and strikes out 13, only to watch Tom Gordon give up a game-losing grand slam to Dan Uggla in the ninth.
Tigers 5, White Sox 1: We may have reached the point where it's too late for the Tigers to bounce back and make a race out of it, but it's not like good things can't still happen. Like seeing Justin Verlander pitch effectively, for example (CG, 4 H, 1 ER).
Twins 8, Indians 6: Victor Martinez left the game after his first at bat with some funkiness in his elbow. Given his total lack of power and deteriorating swing over the past month and a half, I'd guess that was an aggravation of an existing injury as opposed to something new.
Angels 4, Rays 2: Your early ALDS preview looked like a nice little game from up here in box score land. Kazmir pitched well (6.2 IP, 3 ER, 10K), but Lackey pitched better (7 IP, 4 H, 2 ER). Francisco Rodriguez, by the way, picked up his 27th save. That was the single season record between 1949 and 1960, and I'd guess that Bobby Thigpen is in danger. What's more, given the lack of a true stud hitter on a contender this year, this could be one of those wacky seasons when the writers make a guy like F-Rod the AL MVP.
Mariners 2, Blue Jays 1: Toronto threatened Boston and Tampa a couple of weeks ago, but now have lost eight of eleven. King Felix was on (8 IP, 4 H, 0ER, 8K).
Pirates 3, Nats 1: Elijah Dukes ended the game by grounding out into a double play. If I'm Manny Acta, I immediately rush out to the field and offer him a big high five.
Mets 5, Diamondbacks 3: The good: Mike Pelfrey goes eight strong innings. The bad: he and Billy Wagner combine to blow it in the 9th. The good: Carlos Beltran wins it in the bottom of the 13th with a 2-run homer. The bad: the Frogurt is also cursed.
Brewers 10, Astros 6: Milwaukee hits 5 homers, but none of them by Braun or Fielder.
A's 8, Yankees 4: There are still some folks out there who insist that moving Joba Chamberlain to the rotation was a bad idea because the Yankees are no longer able to "shorten the game" with him in the bullpen. Well, here's a game that was shortened quite nicely. Indeed, four innings were effectively chopped off! Three because of the Yankee bullpen, and one because the A's didn't have to bat in the bottom of the ninth because they were winning by virtue of beating up on yet another ineffective Yankee starter.
Padres 4, Dodgers 1: San Diego has won six of seven, and they get Jake Peavy back today. Not sayin' they're going to make a run, but they're no farther out of first place than the Yankees and Mets are (actually closer than the Yankees), and the NL West isn't exactly the toughest division in the game. I mean, crazier things have happened.