Thursday, June 28, 2007

Questionable chatter is the disease, and Jim Oskola is the cure

Listen, you f***ers, you screwheads. Here is a man who would not take it anymore. A man who stood up against the scum, the c*nts, the dogs, the filth, the sh*t. Here is a man who stood up.

Yes, I'm talking about Appleton, Wisconsin Post-Crescent columnist Jim Oskola, who is mad as hell, and he's not going to take it anymore when it comes to bad behavior at little league baseball games:

The Fox Valley Association has a code of conduct for people attending its athletic events.

Some of the people who attended Tuesday's Appleton Little League City Tournament championship game between Travelers Protective Association and NEW Anesthesiologists should read it very closely and then take a look in the mirror.

Oskola then proceeds to unleash 350 words of hellfire, calling out gum-flappin' fans, trash-talkin' coaches, and twelve year-olds who round the bases in the flaps-down position following home runs. He doesn't go so far as to say that the venerable legacy of the NEW Anesthesiologists has forever been sullied, but you know he feels that way. As should we all.

So Casey, you got somethin' against belly-itchers? What are you, some kind of comedian? You a clown? You here to amuse Jim Oskola? And you, Billy's mom. You think that last pitch was outside, huh? You talkin' to me? You must be talkin' to me, because he doesn't see anyone else. Who the f*ck do you think you're talking to? Oh yeah? OK.

Editor's Note: There will be no Jim Oskola column in tomorrow's Post-Crescent, as Mr. Oskola will be taking the day to get in shape. Too much sitting has ruined his body. Too much abuse has gone on for too long. From now on there will be 50 pushups each morning, 50 pullups. There will be no more pills, no more bad food, no more destroyers of his body. From now on will be total organization. Every muscle must be tight.