Pennsylvania Apparently Has Solved All Of Its Problems

How else to explain the legislature's resolution asking MLB to retire Roberto Clemente's number?

Clemente's Hall of Fame career with the Pittsburgh Pirates began in 1955 and ended when he died in a plane crash on Dec. 31, 1972, while trying to deliver relief supplies following an earthquake in Nicaragua.

"Roberto Clemente was more than a great baseball player," said state Rep. Angel Cruz,
D-Philadelphia, who sponsored the resolution as part of Hispanic Heritage Month. "He was a humanitarian who gave so much of himself for those in need."

Major League Baseball has remained mum on the subject of retiring Clemente's number as an homage to his being the first Latin American elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame and his humanitarianism.

I would hope that they remain mum much longer. The retiring of Jackie Robinson's number should stand as a unique honor for a unique contribution to the game. Clemente was an amazing player. He was obviously a selfless and committed humanitarian. It doesn't belittle his accomplishments, however, to acknowledge that many other players in baseball history have matched that description as well, even if they didn't die immediately after achieving a milestone of baseball greatness and while serving humanity.

Honor him. Celebrate him. Name as many things as you possibly can after him. But don't retire his number. To do so would both devalue the honor bestowed on Jackie Robinson and, because of its derivative nature, would belittle Clemente's accomplishments as well.

Great Moments in Tortured Metaphors

It's finance day here at ShysterBall. First it was hedge funds, and now it's municipal bonds:

Joe Torre is going to return to skipper the New York Yankees in 2008. The municipal bond market tells me so . . . [Bond analysis] often comes down to a couple of key numbers, perhaps a sentence or two located somewhere in the wilderness of a bond offering document, or official statement, as they call it. Regarding Joe Torre and the Yankees, there are three numbers that demand attention. They are 12; 4,271,083; and 942,555,000. This last number is in dollars.

The author of the article, Joe Mysak of Bloomberg.com, seems to think that the 12 seasons the Yanks have made the playoffs during Torre's tenure combined with the 4,271,083 fans they drew this year and the $942,555,000 in bonds the New York Industrial Development Agency sold to help build a new Yankee Stadium all but make it a lock for the Yankees to keep Torre on. Torre is critical to the success of the enterprise, Mysak is arguing, so they can't possibly dump him.

Look, I like Torre, but if anyone thinks that the business prospects of the New York Yankees are solely or even mostly attributable to him, they're crazy. He has been a excellent steward of the talent provided to him and has done a pretty good job of insulating the team from the inherent insantiy of the New York press, but given where the Yankees are today in both business and competitive terms, I am fairly certain that you could install the reanimated corpse of Johnny Keane in their dugout, still draw 4 million fans, and still make the playoffs.

Mattingly Not Ready

At least that's what he's telling the Steinbrenner boys. It seems to me that the only reason that conversation happens is because one of them asked Mattingly if he wanted the job, so going forward, anyone who speculates whether Torre is staying or going is behind the news. He's gone, and the team has moved on to trying to figure out who is going to replace him.

Could I be wrong? Maybe based on this passage from a different article on the subject:

Mattingly's stance could mean the return of Torre for a 13th season, since the former Yankees first baseman was the presumptive favorite to get the job.

"Could" being the operative word. And Joe Girardi "could" cease to exist tomorrow, but I doubt it, making the notion that Torre will stay on as a fallback position decidedly unlikely.

Update: Now Mattingly's agent is saying Donny never said he wasn't ready. Hurm. This story seems like post-hoc agent-spin. Mattingly, by most accounts, is a pretty normal, loyal, well-adjusted and, given those traits, probably humble fellow. He indicates that he's not comfortable replacing Torre, and probably makes some noises about not being "ready" so as to try and preserve the possibility later. I mean, he may not want to stab Joe in the back by jumping at his job, but at the same time he doesn't want to tell the bosses that he's never going to be open to it.

Agent reads about this, sees his cut of Yankee manager millions going out the door, and tries to talk it back from the ledge.

Jorge Posada Hopes You Fall Into Foreclosure

And so does Alfonso Soriano, El Duque, and Jose Contreras:

Now that their teams are out of the Major League Baseball playoffs, the New York Yankees catcher Jorge Posada and the Chicago Cubs outfielder Alfonso Soriano may turn their attention to a new hedge fund investment.

The star athletes' financial advisers, the former Merrill Lynch employees Juan Collar and Anthony Fernandez, named them and [Hernandez and Contreras] as investors in a hedge fund in Miami that the advisers started in March, according to a July 12 private placement notice filed with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission . . . Fernandez and Collar primarily invest in fixed income securities like bonds, the attorney said. They generated profits for their clients this year by betting against the mortgage market.

"They were short subprime," Leeds said, referring to home loans for people with poor or no credit histories. Collar and Fernandez "made money in July and August hand-over-fist when everybody else was losing it."

I'm an idiot when it comes to investing, but I occasionally read a Wall Street Journal if someone leaves one in the john at work. As such, I know enough to understand that hedge funds tend to benefit from the misfortune of others, do not have the same constraints as others (no SEC filings is what I'm thinking here), and rather than spread the risk around, tend to go all-in on large, risky investments.

Knowing this, it makes perfect sense that the investors in this particular hedge fund are all current or former Yankees. Who else would be so used to an environment in which limit-free, high-risk, misery-inducing investments were the norm?

And Now They Wait

Congratulations Colorado Rockies.

Now we get to see what eight days off does to the otherworldly momentum which helped them destroy the Phillies and then the D-backs. My guess is that they'll be just fine.

And speaking of momentum, the last play of the game, while obviously unimportant in the grand scheme of things, bugged me all the same:

Eric Byrnes followed with a checked-swing grounder that shortstop Troy Tulowitzki charged. His throw beat Byrnes' headfirst dive, and Helton threw his arms in the air, a decade of disappointment finally forgotten.

If I was a manager I'd fine any player who willingly gave up the speed and momentum of a dead run through the first base bag in favor of a dive which, under every single circumstance, adds to, rather than shortens the time it takes a player to get to the bag.

Does Frontier Airlines Fly to Asia?

They'd better. Because given how long the playoff games have been this year, that's the only way you'll be able to watch the entirety of the in-flight World Series broadcasts they plan on showing.

Sparky Anderson Peed Here

The last bits of scrap from Tiger Stadium have been auctioned. The auction is over, but the items that were up for bid can be viewed here. An old 1968 World Series banner nabbed $3,800. That seems low. Al Kaline's locker brought $2,000. That seems really low, but its value was probably depressed by the fact that it was used by Lerrin LaGrow or someone after Kaline retired in 1974.

Anything seem overpriced? Sure. There's the "dugout urinal" that went for $900.

They had a urinal in the dugout? Thank God the 1984 World Series wasn't televised by closeup-obsessed Fox, or else we may have seen a side of Kirk Gibson that we could never un-see.

Dustinatti

There are many for whom hearing Dusty Baker's name announced as their team's new manager would be the end of the world. I don't put myself in that camp necessarily, mostly because I think that there is a time and a place for a guy like Dusty, albeit a limited time and a narrow place. He has fared generally well with veteran teams and if you have a team where the vets still represent your best chance to win, hey, you could do worse.

The last place I'd want Dusty, however, is on a team with young pitching and developing hitters whose primary assets are plate patience and power. Indeed, Dusty has shown a general disdain for those types of players, preferring toolsy guys with low OBP, especially if they're veterans. He has likewise overused young pitchers -- Mark Prior being the most obvious example -- and young, overused pitchers tend to get hurt.

Unfortunately, the Reds fit the latter profile to a T. To contend, the Reds are counting on the development of young pitchers like Homer Bailey. They will also need to find ways to work young sluggers like Jay Bruce and Joey Votto into the lineup and leave them there, no matter how many Ryan Freels and Norris Hoppers are laying around. They're going to have to give bullpen arms like Jared Burton, Billy Bray, and Gary Majewski more innings than Mike Stanton and Eddie Guardado. They're going to have to do things like sit catcher David Ross if he hits like he did last year, even if he is anointed the Starting Catcher next spring. You know, the things they did in the second half last year as Pete Mackanin had them playing pretty damn well.

Dusty's track record does not suggest that he is the man who is best suited to create an environment in which those things are likely to happen, and for that reason I think he's a bad hire.

Boston is ready for Cleveland

For the bugs anyway. It's not clear if they have a clue what do about Jhonny Peralta.

Colorado in October

Watching the weather for the Rockies-Dbacks tonight reminded me that there seemed to be an October Monday Night Football game featuring the Broncos and about four or five inches of snow every other season or so during the Elway years.

I'm almost positive that there has never been a World Series snow-out before, and for this reason alone I am pulling for the Rockies to put Arizona away. For the Indians, of course, this would be old hat.

Jocketty to Cincy?

Looks that way. The title would be "CEO" but he would likely run all baseball operations. Jocketty, though, is a GM and always will be a GM, so I can't help but think of this as a major slap at Wayne Krivsky. I'm probably in the distinct minority of folks who think that Krivsky has done an OK job so far, so I think it's an unnecessary move.

Next up, I presume: La Russa and Dave Duncan follow (even though the article says La Russa isn't going anywhere). I suppose that will be a positive for season ticket sales, but I don't see how they're the best fit for the Reds.

Update: I take that back. Jesus tap-dancin' Christ, they went with Dusty. Personally, I think this is an awful move. Homer Bailey should make his reservations with Dr. Andrews' people now to save everyone the trouble later.

LCSeses

From ESPN's "Game Information" on last night's games:

Attendance in Boston: 36,986 (101.3% full). Neat trick! Now the Red Sox need to go out and give 110%.

Game time in Boston: 3:35. Long, but not as long as it felt. I don't know if it's Fox's production or the fact that the outcome of this one was more or less decided early on, but it's gotten to the point where I can't sit through an AL playoff game anymore.

Attendance in Arizona: 48,219 (98.3% full). I couldn't stay up for the whole thing (who could on the east coast?) but I didn't see many crowd shots. My guess, though, based on game 1 and other reports is that 98.3% full is a generous estimate.

Game time in Arizona: 4:26! I know it went 11 innings, but oy vey!

Shyster has some other fish to fry on this Friday, so it's highly unlikely that he's going to be posting much of anything new today. That said, there are over 400 posts on this bad boy, and I know you haven't read them all. Cruise the archives a bit. It'll be good for ya.

If old news isn't what you're after, however, go check out how real Braves fans are reacting to the Schuerholz announcement over at Braves Journal. Or go see what Joe Posnanski has to say about life, the universe, and everything. Or his wife, for that matter. Finally, take a gander at Cardboard Gods and learn everything you ever wanted to know about Gene Locklear and the 1977 White Sox. Wait, that's not right. If you click that link, you're going to read an interview with the author of the definitive political history of the Lakota reservation as he holds forth on the Indians and Yankees, and that's way cooler.

There's a decent chance I'll pop in with random posts over the next couple of days, but in the meantime, enjoy the LCSseses.

Schuerholz

Braves GM John Schuerholz is expected to step down this afternoon. As a Braves fan this makes me sad because he, more than anyone, is responsible for all of the winning my favorite team enjoyed over the past 15 or 16 years. He is perhaps the best general manager of all time, and he will be greatly missed.

This also gives me an opportunity -- albeit a belated one -- to offer an apology to Schuerholz for one of the more idiotic things I have ever said. And no, this isn't about some empty epithet I flung his way from the privacy of my living room upon hearing that Pete Orr or someone like him was called up from Richmond. This is something I said, something that he read, and something that obviously made an impact on some level.

In Schuerholz's book Built to Win, he talks about the negative public reaction to his trade of Kevin Millwood to the Phillies for Johnny Estrada in December 2002. On page 71 of that book, first paragraph, he specifically quotes some of the obnoxious "fans" who said intemperate things about the deal on a Braves message board. The worst was this:

"Unbelievably stupid. I don't watch another Braves game until Schuerholz is
fired or dead. I mean it. It's over."

That comment came from this thread at Mac Thomason's Braves Journal, and it was made by me.

No matter how much I believed -- and still believe by the way -- that the Millwood trade was stupid, wishing death on someone, even in jest, pretty much crosses the line. Yes, civility is all but dead in this country, especially on the Internet and especially when it comes to sports, but there's no excuse for me contributing to it.

While I am confident that Schuerholz didn't lose any sleep over my idiotic rant, I have regretted it since the day I said it -- OK, the day after; it took about 24 hours after that trade to get perspective -- and now that I have a bit of a soapbox, this is as good a time as any to apologize.

I know I'm being a bit presumptuous and possibly dramatic here, but I know some folks in the Kansas City Royals organization read this blog from time to time, those folks answer to Mr. Moore, and Mr. Moore probably has Schuerholz's email address. If anyone along that chain felt like passing this link along, I would be much obliged.

Best wishes in retirement (or whatever it is you decide to do) Mr. Schuerholz. You have earned it for a job well done.

Are We OK With This?

Liberty Media -- the company which owns the Atlanta Braves -- has just purchased a company called FUN Technologies, which bills itself thusly:

FUN Technologies is a market leader in two of the fastest-growing sectors of online gaming: skill gaming and fantasy sport services . . . FUN offers a wide range of skill games, which are offered over the Internet, as well as through wireless applications (mobile) and iTV (interactive television), and on stand-alone kiosks. Skill games are classified as ones in which the winner is determined based on the skill of the participants, rather than on chance.

That last bit -- game of skill not game of chance -- seems rather conspicuous in a "the lady d'oth protest too much" kind of way. There's a reason why that language is there, and that's because all of the states which outlaw gambling draw the line at "games of skill" vs. "games of chance," allowing the former and banning, or at least heavily regulating the latter. If companies like FUN want to do business most places, they can't be a gambling operation. They have to, I dunno, sell pinball machines.

Except the definition of what is a game of skill and what is a game of chance is decidedly gray. In my home state there is currently quite a battle raging over this. Some things that look an awful lot like slot machines are banned and other things that look an awful lot like slot machines are deemed hunky dory. Allegations of favoritism, the use of painfully nuanced definitions, and above all else confusion currently reign supreme.

But back to FUN. I have no idea whether their games are really games of skill or games of chance, but it's probably worth noting that the news release I linked above is from Online Casino News, and runs with the headline "Liberty Media Buys Online Casino Developer." At least someone thinks they're in the gambling business.

Question: given how sensitive baseball has been to anything having to do with gambling over the years (remember this?) shouldn't it care -- or at the very least say why it doesn't care -- that one of its owners now runs something that is described by at least one source as a "casino developer?"

Just askin'

How the Cubs are like Japanese Stocks

I'm a sucker for baseball metaphors, so this bit about relative return limits in investing from Morningstar made me smile:

The Cubs and Diamondbacks both won their respective divisions, but those groups were not equal. Arizona topped a strong division, while the Cubs barely won baseball's weakest. In fact, more than a third of baseball's 30 teams had better records than the Cubs'. Clearly, topping a weak group doesn't always equate to absolute strength. And just as important, quality teams are often hidden in the middle of tough groups.

The same is true in investing. We sort funds by similar styles so that we can make apples-to-apples comparisons among peers. Such comparisons are important. But, they should always be set against a backdrop of absolute performance. As the old saying goes, you can't eat relative returns. A glance at the 10-year annualized returns for Morningstar's domestic- and foreign-stock categories shows a range from 15.7% down to 2.3%. In the basement are Japan stock funds. Even the top-rated funds in this category haven't meaningfully compounded capital over time.

Based on the article, the Diamondbacks are more like the Tweedy Brown Global Value Fund (TBGVX). Of course, I've been saying that for months.

We all knew this, right?

My legal experience has taught me that essentially every crime committed in this world is motivated by sex, money, or booze. Often all three of them at once, actually. So color me unsurprised to find out that contemporaneous sensationalism notwithstanding, the attack on the Red Sox fan in Yonkers last week was over a woman -- a barmaid, natch -- not over rooting interests.

Doors Opening On The Left

Potential Metro station confusion in DC, as the stop currently called "Stadium-Armory" is nowhere near the Nats' new ballpark, and the name of the station near the Nats' new ballpark -- "Navy Yard" -- in no way communicates the fact that a ballpark is nearby. To change that will cost several hundred thousand dollars in new signage and maps, none of which anyone really thought about until now. While most locals will probably be able to figure this out easily, there is concern that the tourists won't be able to handle it.

Having lived in DC for my three years of law school, I am fully confident that they could shut down every single station but Navy Yard and rename that one "STATION TO USE IF YOU WANT TO SEE THE NATIONALS BASEBALL GAMES," and the tourists would still get lost and confused. There they would all be, standing still, two abreast on a 200 foot escalator, festooned with fanny packs, MetroCard in hand, loudly wondering whether they're at the right place to "see the Senators play the baseball," and asking if there really was more than one Smithsonian museum.

Mo's Walk-Offs

Sure, you can go to Baseball-Reference.com and click links all day, but perhaps its most satisfying use is as a baloney detector. Example: I was just reading a story in the LA Times about what Mo Vaughn is up to these days. Answer? Rehabbing low-income housing. It's satisfying work, Vaughn says, but . . .

"This is very, very rewarding, don't get me wrong, but nothing's going to be like coming up in the bottom of the ninth and winning the game with a walk-off bomb."

I kind of looked at that for a minute and wondered: "Hmmm. Did Mo Vaughn ever actually hit a walk-off bomb?" In less than five clicks I had my answer: Yes, he did it twice. Here and here. He knows exactly what it feels like.

It's probably worth noting that the first one of those walk-offs came at the expense of Troy Percival. And as everyone knows, that wasn't the last time the two of them would do battle.

No point to any of this except to say, once again, how cool B-R.com is.

I went to a lot of ballparks and it was OK

An old man from a small town in Washington visits every major league park with his son. Misty, Field of Dreams stuff? Nope. In fact, the guy was pretty much unimpressed by the whole affair:

After visiting every Major League Baseball field, a Port Townsend man discovered
that he never needed to leave home base . . ."Had a beer and a hot dog in every
stadium," George said with a smile . . .The ballpark seats all had about the same level of comfort, and the bathrooms were all about the same. "The one in in Florida, that was a bad one," George said . . .

. . . George said he never got tired of eating hot dogs, but by the end of the trip he was ready for a home-cooked meal."They all taste the same, and the beer ain't much different either," George said of ballpark fare.

OK, then.